http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/en-EUMokoFeed10http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/da/ab2d1c1e1bf2e5054e6b10b4f47d93_160x200.jpghttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/09/05/a_furry_flavoured_wincy~2929493/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-09-05:/2007/09/05/a_furry_flavoured_wincy~2929493/Wed, 05 Sep 2007 15:47:17 +0200 <p>Laurel and Wincy Willis have made chicken balls. Jo Barnacle dips the chicken balls in batter and passes them to Froggy. The frog then fries the chicken soaked in batter in a floating grill, created via Lisa Wilson's magical touch of Asda Lettuce and Tomato Fillings. Also, fennel chuncks in minky have created a devil of a job to get them out. They have done this by pincering marble into a large cheese bundle. It is impossible for wincy to say how they managed this. It has made the floating grill extremely resistant to change and froggy has to manipulate it with his long limbs in order to keep it in check. Once the chicken balls are ready they are passed on to sales. John Holohan is very good at selling the items to Jo Public and so he is given the task. He is a one man sales force. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/09/05/a_furry_flavoured_wincy~2929493/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>force-feed-a-fishhumperdink-minkyapple-tide-jacksondotty-jenkinsmegaphone-politicsfroggy-of-marmahttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/09/05/a_furry_flavoured_wincy~2929493/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/07/13/monkey_list~2627037/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-07-13:/2007/07/13/monkey_list~2627037/Fri, 13 Jul 2007 10:43:59 +0200 <p>Oh there's a guy mowing the grass up there on a ride on lawn mower. Ladies and gentlemen I give you, things you can not do with v look up cookie dough:</p> <p>Munchkin juice<br> Sammy seal and his magical delights<br> Part the seven seas<br> Create squash<br> The ruler of frivolity<br> Bend a fabric mouse<br> Coil up in a ball of plenty<br> Souce fish<br> Pebbledash a thatched cottage<br> Grow beards from scratch<br> Knock up hi hats<br> Produce uranium rods of doom<br> Get up close and personal with tinny<br> Be a nice citizen<br> Spend £3 on a DVD called 'My name is Hail Bail'<br> Eat ten bars of Rocky Robin in tandem<br> Make fruit appear from a telephone ear piece<br> Be grateful for loans of any kind<br> Mad Pete the canary lives in your house Nathan Jones<br> Pass the onus<br> Make a pointless machine do something of consequence<br> Cough up cough mixtures<br> Be a little bit Beverage<br> Put soil in pots and pans<br> Point at trees<br> Leave marks with sparks<br> Pertrude a gutter over a stone<br> Over egg pudding </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/07/13/monkey_list~2627037/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>mush-of-fantauranga-poll-pitsfroggy-humperdink-this-timehttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/07/13/monkey_list~2627037/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/07/12/mr_rock~2622934/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-07-12:/2007/07/12/mr_rock~2622934/Thu, 12 Jul 2007 17:27:22 +0200 <p>It's nice to have a hefty pile of rock on your desk. Yes, all eat rock it'll make you hyper and cause you all manner of niceties. This is what Brian May had decided to do. He would consume rock until his mind was no longer his. Then he would drive to the mountain and climb it with a sack full of dough balls. It was a great idea in principle, but because of all the sugar he'd consumed he forgot about it half way there and instead took to rolling down the hill at Leeds Castle. First he performed a forwad roll, standing to great applause from Rupert Bear and his fellows. Then he farted out loud causing much merriment amongst his audience. Bodger was taken to hospital as his stomach muscles contracted to such a degree that he was bent double and stuck like it to boot. Well, Brian May decided he would drive him but he didn't know the way so Sally Peanuts went with him to provide the directional manipulation that was required. When they got there Bodger had fallen asleep and refused to wake up without a cup of coffee. So, off Brian May went to the vending machine to collect a nice fresh cask of maxwell house. The mere smell of the stuff woke Bodger into an absolute stupor and he ran as best he could, still bent double he was the sorry numpty, into the hosputal and they never saw him again.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/07/12/mr_rock~2622934/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>generation-of-uht-potsramadanga-ding-dongkoi-carp-ordinance-surveyskit-kat-legendfeta-cheese-grumbleshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/07/12/mr_rock~2622934/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/07/04/magic_pen_finder~2572261/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-07-04:/2007/07/04/magic_pen_finder~2572261/Wed, 04 Jul 2007 15:21:48 +0200 <p>Ken, this man named Ken, he had a pen. He gave it to his hen. The hen took the pen and went to live in a lion’s den. It was located in Southampton. One day the lions came home and when they saw the hen, well they fell in love there and then. The hen decided to share his pen in the lion’s den. Everywhere they looked all they saw was the mystical delights of Southampton. So, one day they all went on a day trip to Burkham Intersect. They took the train, no-one batted an eyelid, it was quite normal where they came from to travel via rail linkages. Once at their destination they laid out a lovely spread. The lions had made strawberry sandwiches and they tucked in with pure delight. It was the best day trip ever. Ken looked on, he was angry. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/07/04/magic_pen_finder~2572261/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>gregory-pitstopspebble-park-bingohapster-the-hamsterthe-pen-that-found-hensausage-roll-foundationshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/07/04/magic_pen_finder~2572261/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/06/29/this_will_make_you_feel_weird_the_benoit~2543160/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-06-29:/2007/06/29/this_will_make_you_feel_weird_the_benoit~2543160/Fri, 29 Jun 2007 17:02:08 +0200 <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/06/29/this_will_make_you_feel_weird_the_benoit~2543160/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>benoit-the-pecan-pie-creatorbenoit-the-hostilebenoit-is-a-painterkoi-fish-loopschristoph-the-fifthhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/06/29/this_will_make_you_feel_weird_the_benoit~2543160/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/06/29/what_not_to_wear~2543136/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-06-29:/2007/06/29/what_not_to_wear~2543136/Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:59:14 +0200 <p>Tight sleeveless tops (when they don’t fit)<br> Big knickers - vpl<br> Fat arsed birds in thongs<br> Any adult wearing clothing brought from the Disney shop<br> Red chequered clothing of any variety<br> Combat trousers- this is not a war zone, it's an office (also anything with camouflage on it)<br> Jesus sandals<br> Global hypercolour<br> Anything tie dye<br> Grey shoes<br> Anything made by 'peter storm'<br> Pat Butcher Ear Rings<br> Bum bags<br> Record bags with stuff like 'dready' and 'spliffy' on them + Bomber Jackets<br> Tank Tops<br> Cardigans<br> Pin stripe suits<br> Burberry check (fake or genuine)<br> Comedy/cartoon ties<br> Comedy/cartoon socks<br> Too much gold jewellery<br> White socks with shoes<br> Lycra (when it doesn’t fit)<br> Fleeces<br> Flippers<br> Trousers with holes in the pockets<br> Top Hats<br> Ear Plugs<br> Nose Clips<br> Playing Card Dealer Visors<br> Marigolds<br> A Dinner Jacket (unacceptable)<br> Wizard's Cape<br> Batman Mask<br> Mittens (attached by a piece of string)<br> Duffle Coats<br> Waterproof Trousers<br> Tartan Slippers<br> G-Force Watches<br> Pyjama Bottoms<br> Orange Boiler Suits</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/06/29/what_not_to_wear~2543136/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>role-of-strawscotch-mistminky-daddyplinky-is-a-dumpsterhi-you-twoburbury-hankyhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/06/29/what_not_to_wear~2543136/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/05/02/my_scissors~2199962/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-05-02:/2007/05/02/my_scissors~2199962/Wed, 02 May 2007 22:46:01 +0200 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=1484413" title="My Scissors"><img src="http://data4.blog.de/media/413/1484413_f2b63c5ba4_m.jpg" alt="My Scissors" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/05/02/my_scissors~2199962/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>cheque-book-and-penencrusted-froggymonkey-fridgehappy-gnomehttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/05/02/my_scissors~2199962/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/bingo_blogo~2186236/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-04-30:/2007/04/30/bingo_blogo~2186236/Mon, 30 Apr 2007 16:54:39 +0200 <p>Ringo went mongo in cognitive learning of the source of all that has been steam dried in the mouth of a bearded pig. This would include a club biscuit and a trio... caramel fill with a biscuit wafer. Fair enough.</p> <p>The sheep travelled to Windsor on a boat on wheels. It used the wind to quite literally sail along the motorised 25 using slipstreams. Real days of thunder stuff. It had been taught how to do this at a day centre in Cardiff. None other than Joseph Barnacle, the giver of all that is bad in the world, was responsible. He'd sent the Sheep to Windsor to pick up some new Crayola Crayons, he was writing a book on humming and had run out.</p> <p>Meanwhile, Bon Bon Bangoni was up to something. He's been to Spain and built up a really great tan and was boasting to his neighbours. He'd also made some bog standard sand castles, which he'd taken pictures of and was busy making postcards on his very own personalised computer. His plan was to open a shop selling these cards, he was sure people would like them.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/bingo_blogo~2186236/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>billy-battstots-tilesbutterscotch-heelsblimp-visitationroom-heatcentrifugal-sockspeanut-kahulamichael-slatterhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/bingo_blogo~2186236/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/30/perry_fenwick~2003022/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-03-30:/2007/03/30/perry_fenwick~2003022/Fri, 30 Mar 2007 12:52:30 +0200 <p>This is what a bearded Perry Fenwick would look like:</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=1287227" title="A BEARDED PERRY"><img src="http://data2.blog.de/media/227/1287227_1d9c71cbf9_m.jpg" alt="A BEARDED PERRY" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/30/perry_fenwick~2003022/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>chinese-chipsbeard-of-perryhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/30/perry_fenwick~2003022/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/25/hyperdink~1974034/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-03-25:/2007/03/25/hyperdink~1974034/Sun, 25 Mar 2007 20:00:33 +0200 <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/25/hyperdink~1974034/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>bob-macenrosugar-plum-duffbobby-davro-lava-tomssecret-flow-of-turpsbilly-battshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/25/hyperdink~1974034/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/21/mr_pine~1946684/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-03-21:/2007/03/21/mr_pine~1946684/Wed, 21 Mar 2007 15:27:23 +0100 <p> 1. Mr Pine was a test subject for Viagra<br> 2. Mr Pine makes is deeply involved in North London gang culture<br> 3. Mr Pine was the lead singer in 80’s hip hop band ‘Blazer Squad’ and was good friends with Martin Kemp until his public tabloid downfall due to his blazer fetish<br> 4. Mr Pine’s favourite celebrity is Derek Laud of Big Brother<br> 5. Mr Pine lives in a dream world<br> 6. Mr Pine has to take 3 Imodium tablets a day to keep solid<br> 7. Mr Pine makes hazardous choices when not presented with all the facts<br> 8. Mr Pine finds a nice cup of tea and a biscuit resolves these issues<br> 9. Mr Pine made me go to casualty last night<br> 10. Mr Pine takes a different route to work each time because he thinks he’s being followed<br> 11. Mr Pine’s favourite singer is Sting<br> 12. Mr Pine names his suits. His latest one is called Colin<br> 13. Mr Pine has no bodily smell and has amassed a fortune by not buying deodorants<br> 14. Mr Pine’s first son was conceived whilst he wore his blazer done up<br> 15. Mr Pine’s brother is an aeronautical engineer<br> 16. Mr Pine had surgery to attach his arms the wrong way round to achieve his dream<br> 17. Mr Pine packs a piece<br> 18. Mr Pine’s historical accuracy is out of alignment by exactly 1 year, 5 months and 4 days. The pupils have been informed<br> 19. Mr Pine refuses to take his Blazer off and is in therapy<br> 20. Mr Pine likes milk<br> 21. Mr Pine has never said Sarsons, he says vinegar<br> 22. Mr Pine wears his shirt and tie in bed<br> 23. Mr Pine starches his collars<br> 24. Mr Pine actually owns a Corby Trouser Press. He uses it daily and has never dismantled it<br> 25. Mr Pine has mediated more exams than you’ve had hot dinners<br> 26. Mr Pine was top of the class at hopscotch<br> 27. Mr Pine drinks his morning orange juice from a test tube<br> 28. Mr Pine is in the habit of going to the midnight matinee at the screen cinema<br> 29. Mr Pine has a trumpet made from dolly mixtures<br> 30. Billy Batts hangs on Mr Pines every word<br> 31. Billy Batts first learnt to walk with his hands behind his back in Mr Pine’s magical Hoegaarden<br> 32. Billy Batts and Mr Pine are best friends<br> 33. Mr Pine will not drink egg nog<br> 34. Mr Pine has gone out drinking Hoegaarden with Billy Batts from Goodfellas. They had a magical time.<br> 35. Mr Pine enjoys difficult jazz<br> 36. Mr Pine always walks with a swagger<br> 37. Mr Pine likes having his meat pie for luncheon<br> 38. Mr Pine washes dishes using bow ties<br> 39. Mr Pine will never wear dinner jackets. He loves his blazers so.<br> 40. Mr Pine keeps pet hedgehogs<br> 41. Mr Pine uses hat pins as weapons<br> 42. Mr Pine washes his grey suits in turps<br> 43. Mr Pine supplements his lessons with jokes stolen from Jack Dee<br> 44. Mr Pine enjoys Minute Maid<br> 45. Mr Pine is a right little wizard with a jigsaw and a slab of MDF. His favourite is the mortis-and-tenon Joint<br> 46. Mr Pine loves Iced Gems<br> 47. Mr Pine’s boyhood dream was to ‘walk with his hands behind his back’<br> 48. Mr Pine developed walking with his arms behind his back from a very young age. He also sleeps with his arms behind his back<br> 49. Mr Pine has an extensive collection of grey suits<br> 50. Mr Pine says ‘great successes all the time<br> 51. Mr Pine has seen Police Academy 7 exactly 14 times<br> 52. Mr Pine enjoys starring roles<br> 53. Mr Pine was once given community service for stealing a chocolate chip tracker bar after his wife forgot to add a little treat to his packed lunch<br> 54. Mr Pine refuses to allow ham sandwiches to be consumed during lunch time. He has a stationary cupboard stuffed full of confiscated ham sammys, some have gone mouldy<br> 55. Mr Pine deliberately drives the wrong way round one way systems<br> 56. Mr Pine is not afraid of penguins<br> 57. Mr Pine irons his shirts using super heated defibrillator<br> 58. Mr Pine eats shorts<br> 59. Mr Pine has never ever run, he always walk<br> 60. Mr Pine has never really paid for clothes - he buys them, wears them for one day and then takes them back for a refund. They call him refund Ronny at Marks and Spencer<br> 61. Mr Pine built his house out of sheet metal<br> 62. Mr Pine has a set of golf clubs made of uranium rods<br> 63. Mr Pine actually glows when he eats Ready Brek<br> 64. Mr Pine is afraid of mice<br> 65. Mr Pine uses Fructis shampoo<br> 66. Mr Pine has a corrupted heap<br> 67. Mr Pine has never watched television; he prefers to sit in the conservatory with a hot toddy listening to the wireless.<br> 68. Mr Pine jokingly refers to Newcastle as Newcastle-upon-Pine<br> 69. Mr Pine has feathers growing from his arm pits<br> 70. For Christmas lunch me Pine refuses to stuff the turkey<br> 71. Mr Pine uses just for men<br> 72. Mr Pine has completed Mario world including star road<br> 73. Mr Pine washes his car with sawdust<br> 74. Mr Pine used to be a biker<br> 75. Mr Pine insists on paying for everything using his nectar card. He doesn't realise it’s not a credit card<br> 76. Mr Pine has done the fandango<br> 77. Mr Pine bought a pair of heelies yesterday<br> 78. Mr Pine produces Pine resin in his lug holes (ear holes)<br> 79. Mr Pine trades under name Ferdinand Hope<br> 80. Mr Pine bought his wife 7 vases for Christmas - he just had to go one better than my dad<br> 81. Mr Pine once holidayed in Yellowstone Park in the hope he would actually see yogi bear<br> 82. Mr Pine reads caravanning monthly<br> 83. Mr Pine has an apple Mac<br> 84. Mr Pine has a harp and he plays it every night as his wife says it helps send her off to the land of nod<br> 85. Mr Pine designed the samurai ride at chessington<br> 86. Mr Pine has been known to sing boisterously after a few drinks<br> 87. Mr Pine’s favourite Frenchman is Antoine De Caunnes from Eurotrash<br> 88. Mr Pine hates midgets<br> 89. Mr Pine showers fully clothed<br> 90. Mr Pine has dug a trench in his back garden and pretends to be in the First World War. The other day he had himself court-martialled for desertion when he went inside the house to watch "antiques road show"<br> 91. Mr Pine has mandibles which he keeps hidden by strapping them down using duck tape<br> 92. Mr Pine has swallowed a Clementine whole<br> 93. Mr Pine is very very good friends with David Bowie<br> 94. Mr Pine gets goose pimples when he hears china girl<br> 95. Mr Pine brought a supped up stereo just so he could listen to 'space oddity' at a deafening volume<br> 96. Mr Pine's ambition has always been to ride the big one at Blackpool pleasure beach<br> 97. Mr Pine wishes Paul Ross an unhappy birthday<br> 98. Mr Pine actually believes that he is the reincarnation of George Formby.<br> 99. Mr Pine has debilitating arthritis in his shoulders from years of walking with his arms behind his back<br> 100. Mr Pine has a loft packed full of text books he nicked from schools he has taught at. He doesn't know what to do with them<br> 101. Mr Pine drives a smart car<br> 102. Mr Pine's socks will be kept in a museum on his passing<br> 103. Mr Pine has been trying to develop a nutritious jam for year as he believes we'll all just eat jam in future.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/21/mr_pine~1946684/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>clementine-wildernessmr-pinejuniper-mayhemmagical-hoegaardenhumperdink-made-me-an-errorsheet-metal-housespin-ball-wizardperry-fenwick-approvesbilly-battshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/21/mr_pine~1946684/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/19/annoying_things_you_could_say~1930834/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-03-19:/2007/03/19/annoying_things_you_could_say~1930834/Mon, 19 Mar 2007 09:25:06 +0100 <p>Do you want a fresh one? Well, you got it. Hope that drain pipe claim is going according to plan:</p> <p>I’m saving myself for a hot chocolate, that’s my treat.<br> I am here, oh right.<br> I’m just going down to get a yoghurt.<br> I said at the time, I said.<br> He doesn’t have to do anything, he gets home and his dinners on the table.<br> He sounds like that guy out of santa claus, u know when he makes those candles and goes ‘uuuu ha, uuuuuu ha’.<br> I’m storing up those dried fruits at the moment.<br> Oh I did it- yeah- yeah.<br> Oh that’s alright.<br> I love Marks and Spencers.<br> Doesn’t annulled mean you haven’t had sex?<br> I’m not allowed my first cigartette now til I’ve picked max up. That’s what I’ve got.<br> I’ve got a big pot and I’m gonna put a fiver in it a month. That might inspire me then to keep off them, coz I’ll see something for it. You can have a big day out or a trip to the health farm.<br> At the moment I’ve got to stop completely, then I might be able to have the odd one.<br> Wen’t it cold yesterday morning?<br> I got up really early, did a big of housework, did a bit of gardening, went out in the car, I was quite industrious.<br> That ringtone would drve me crackers.<br> I tell you what I got, they’re new out. They’re really big in asdas, a bag of all dried fruit.<br> I thought of you the other day when I was in asdas, you’d have loved it. They had a little demonstration on with this orange juice. It’s a new brand and it’s five litres and it last for 30 days once you opened it. I had a little taste and it was nice. And it’s only £2.98, for five litres. It’s all natural ingredients, no additives or preservatives.<br> Oooo I could do with a bit of chocolate now.<br> Oooo I had one of those the other day, it was quite nice.<br> The hot chocolate is hotty.<br> See you in the morning, I’m going to see my new dishwasher.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/19/annoying_things_you_could_say~1930834/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>gate-requirementberry-stalksoj-simpson-juicehey-nowcarp-sittingfurniture-sacksstumpsprim-and-primrosepit-stop-balloon-heelshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/19/annoying_things_you_could_say~1930834/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/09/comb_over_gate_requirement~1874796/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-03-09:/2007/03/09/comb_over_gate_requirement~1874796/Fri, 09 Mar 2007 14:58:09 +0100 <p>Do you drive around at night using only one hand listening to difficult jazz? Billy Batts does and what’s more he’ll drink Hoegaarden whilst he performs such a task. On his way to the gastro pub he was, for a nice ‘soft’ pint of magical Hoegaarden. “Now look here, this is serious”, Jo Barnacle piped up. Billy Batts fed him an éclair piece meal and popped off to the airport to buy some Costa Coffee and pump himself full of sultanas. </p> <p>On return to the gastro pub Billy Batts decided that Jo Barnacle must be taught some home truths. So he made him overdose on Hoegaarden by challenging him to a drinking contest. Even with his hypnotic prowess Jo Barnacle was no match for Billy Batts who drank him under the table and made him polish his shoes up a veritable treat. </p> <p>In the morning Billy Batts got the whole gang together, Thermo Bufanda, Joey Boiler, Ferdinand and Moonsmock were all in attendance. They travelled to Jo Barnacle’s on a giant motorised Lilly pad and Billy Batts broke into the humble abode using a credit card to jimmy the locks. When Jo Barnacle came down stairs Billy Batts and the gang had been out in the garden and messed the grass up by doing sliding tackles all over the ruddy shop. He would not be able to play tennis now, the poor fool! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/09/comb_over_gate_requirement~1874796/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>englebertbingo-puddingbilly-batts-magical-hoegaardenfurnished-appartmentbottle-of-pasturised-mink-juicepeanut-medleygreen-boom-banger-boom-boxbufandic-alert-proggysmirking-johnny-doolittlehttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/03/09/comb_over_gate_requirement~1874796/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/23/home_shopping_decision~1792373/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-23:/2007/02/23/home_shopping_decision~1792373/Fri, 23 Feb 2007 16:37:39 +0100 <p>Moica was unstable today, he had consumed over a metric thimble full of ramsack juice. The whole country feared for the worst, for the last time Moica had become out of sorts he'd brought out all the shares in tie rack and converted it into a peanut barn. Jo barnacle was called in to regress Moica hypnotically to a state that he found more 'slow', than anything else. Joey Boiler footed the bill, and for this act of truancy Shammit Islata was forced to spin plates on sticks. He kept this up for an impressive construct of time and space. Not wanting to be outdone Joey Boiler doubled his payment to Jo Barnacle and Moica was regressed too much, he started to melt into the floor and Joey Boiler was once again called upon to remedy things. Remembering the peanut barn fiasco he troubled Jo Barnacle by distracting his hypnotic gaze with a giant lolly pop. Then, and without warning, he released the peanuts and Jo Barnacle's grip was slackened. Moica saw his opportunity and grabbed a spoon, he would eat Jo Barnacle free, so help me god. Joey Boiler ran a mile and hid in some ferns, whilst Jo Barnacle was once again freed and allowed once again to run rampant with his hypnotherapeutic policy making. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/23/home_shopping_decision~1792373/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>hoover-damrumpolegreen-boom-boxberry-stalksbufandajam-ferryample-slacksrun-dmcjoey-boilerhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/23/home_shopping_decision~1792373/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/21/pumpkin_bueller~1779222/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-21:/2007/02/21/pumpkin_bueller~1779222/Wed, 21 Feb 2007 14:04:45 +0100 <p>It’s a shame; Jo Barnacle has been trying for months to force tennis balls into a peanut jar. Junta was watching, of course, from his lofty perch. Junta had been off gallivanting the night before drinking hoegaarden in the park with his best mate Joey Boiler. This had angered Joseph Barnacle and he had gone quite mad and eaten a full packet of ham. When Junta came in Jo Barnacle had turned all the radiators up full whack and this incensed Joey Boiler. He left immediately on completion of heat threshold and went and stood in Tie Rack. Junta found it mildly amusing and so as a special treat he took a saddle from a bicycle and boiled it up in a special mix of brandy butter and lemonade. He ate it with a knife and fork and right in front of Joseph Barnacle. Yet another exciting day had come to an end so it was off to the land of nod with a nice steaming hot mug of custard for the pair of them.</p> <p>But when Jo Barnacle awoke he was gripped with the sudden urge to stuff tennis balls into crevices. He woke up Junta; he was jumping on his bed the nasty little idiot! This is why Junta got up on his perch and was observing like a student of the arts themselves.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/21/pumpkin_bueller~1779222/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>pencil-crayolahypnotic-breadjoey-boilerjuntabilly-batts-magical-hoegaardenhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/21/pumpkin_bueller~1779222/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/got_a_bag_of_cement~1775395/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-20:/2007/02/20/got_a_bag_of_cement~1775395/Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:16:37 +0100 <p>A person goes to the beach, digs a hole and fills it with cement. The cement is knocked up with some sea water when the tide rolls in. Just imagine the shock when the cement sets with the beach sand and a huge block of concrete is formed. People will flock from miles to see it and these people can all be charged extortionate prices. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/got_a_bag_of_cement~1775395/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>the-sea-is-nearon-your-rughumperdink-made-mewatching-tides-roll-inconcrete-blockshumperdink-is-herehttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/got_a_bag_of_cement~1775395/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/this_is_the_original_eddie_grant_lottery~1775291/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-20:/2007/02/20/this_is_the_original_eddie_grant_lottery~1775291/Tue, 20 Feb 2007 19:59:28 +0100 <p>This is what you do:</p> <p>Take my song 'Electric Avenue'<br> Count the number of letters:<br> 'Electric Avenue' has 15 letters.<br> Then take the number of letters in the first word, 'electric' has 8 letters.<br> Add everything so far together. 15 + 8 = 23.<br> Now take the number of letters in 'avenue', which is 7.<br> Add this to your running total. 23 = 7 = 30.<br> Add this to the total number of letters in 'electric avenue'. 30 + 15 = 45.</p> <p>Now you have your six numbers: 15, 8, 23, 7, 30,45</p> <p>On your way to purchase the ticket you must sing 'Electric Avenue' to yourself.</p> <p>Once the ticket has been purchased, and you are a suitable distance away from the source of purchase, take the ticket you specified your numbers on and rip it into as many pieces as you can. Then disperse the waste material gradually as you make your way home. </p> <p>Doing this prevents anyone finding your ticket and copying your numbers.</p> <p>Remember to listen to a copy of 'electric avenue' whilst the lottery numbers are being drawn (have the tv on mute). This increases your chances of winning.</p> <p>The same lottery tactics can also be applied to 'Gimmie Hope Joanna'.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/this_is_the_original_eddie_grant_lottery~1775291/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>rumpoleelectric-avenuesea-biscuitzebra-crossingthe-pied-pipereddie-granthttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/this_is_the_original_eddie_grant_lottery~1775291/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/joseph_barnacle_does_not_approve_of_hoeg~1773575/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-20:/2007/02/20/joseph_barnacle_does_not_approve_of_hoeg~1773575/Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:36:45 +0100 <p>I have heard that Jo Barnacle likes to set bear traps in and around the town of shepton mallet. he practices new forms of hypnosis that he has invented whilst coaching tennis at various locations around the south eat of england. You see, what he is doing is brainwashing these poor shepton ferrets into his way of thinking, therefore creating a solid base of hoegaarden hating ferrets. Just be ruddy careful and watch your back whilst your picking willow sticks. Barnacle's about. That wiley old barnacle, dam him! dam him that hypnotic little barnacle! dam you jo barnacle! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/joseph_barnacle_does_not_approve_of_hoeg~1773575/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>joseph-barnaclerug-milkwillow-sticksshepton-malletjo-barnacleearlsburyhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/joseph_barnacle_does_not_approve_of_hoeg~1773575/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/the_dog_and_the_cat_could_not_fly_to_hem~1773515/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-20:/2007/02/20/the_dog_and_the_cat_could_not_fly_to_hem~1773515/Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:26:04 +0100 <p>This is applicable circumstances to be sure. The mushroom filled car will be sold for a cabbage and the kangaroo will be pleased to drive. Lightening? I will be under the clock tower with my basket of water. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/the_dog_and_the_cat_could_not_fly_to_hem~1773515/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>rug-mattersclock-towerfacility-checkhemel-raisencabbage-palscoffee-tablehttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/the_dog_and_the_cat_could_not_fly_to_hem~1773515/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/sterling_denomination_for_said_balloon_t~1773469/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-20:/2007/02/20/sterling_denomination_for_said_balloon_t~1773469/Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:18:05 +0100 <p>The burner for said balloon trip will be ten times seven space hoppers of water into Johnny Allen's bucket. Is this rain acceptable to you? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/sterling_denomination_for_said_balloon_t~1773469/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>rugsburnerssterlinghovis-breadhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/sterling_denomination_for_said_balloon_t~1773469/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/cha_cha_cha_cha_cha_where_did_it_come_fr~1773092/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-20:/2007/02/20/cha_cha_cha_cha_cha_where_did_it_come_fr~1773092/Tue, 20 Feb 2007 14:14:41 +0100 <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/cha_cha_cha_cha_cha_where_did_it_come_fr~1773092/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>table-rugmess-it-uphumperdink-did-thisunholysilly-dinkhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/20/cha_cha_cha_cha_cha_where_did_it_come_fr~1773092/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/16/someone_who_tests_electrical_appliances_~1753467/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-16:/2007/02/16/someone_who_tests_electrical_appliances_~1753467/Fri, 16 Feb 2007 21:00:26 +0100 <p>For fun he makes out that he has just been in a car crash/ just been married the other week etc… when he is testing the appliances during a chat with the occupants of the various abodes he visits. Cut to man on phone leaving job laughing to himself. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/16/someone_who_tests_electrical_appliances_~1753467/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>acornssquirrelman-laughingabodehttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/16/someone_who_tests_electrical_appliances_~1753467/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/16/fuggers_and_apple_crumble~1753439/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-16:/2007/02/16/fuggers_and_apple_crumble~1753439/Fri, 16 Feb 2007 20:54:54 +0100 <p>Apple Fug when the Junta of the Comuneros goes to bank his Holy money at the Bank of England. Holy Junta is enraged and eats the apple because Junta of the Santa puts Hermandad in a sock and throws it at a fountain where he drowns but goes mad and drinks the water and therefore does not drown really, but Swerve Boy must resuscitate him anyway, so the Fuggers can ride him to town, where there are shops to go in. Asda’s Puffins walk to London and the Comuneros try to push them over but because the Fuggers are already in town (because swerve boy saved Hermandad) the Puffins are allowed into one shop.</p> <p>Hermandad makes suitcases out of the Puffin’s wrappers and goes to see the Comuneros play the London Monarchs at Wembley. The Comuneros loose and Hermandad summons Junta to make a Junta of the Santa, and when he arrives he digs a hole and fills it with red pencil crayons. </p> <p>The London Monarchs ran and the Queen tripped them over and put them under a rock. Swerve Boy was married to the Queen and changed the law so that shops never closed. This meant that employees always had to work, and therefore died. All the retards, who were like Billy Kennedy and Malcom Kennedy, went to live in a little garden shed. Junta of the Comuneros took his money away from the Fuggers after three years and gave it to Malcom so he could write a book.</p> <p>Malcoms’s book was published by Billy and it sold four million copies worldwide because the book had a picture of a cupboard on the cover and illustrations of door handles in the inside cover by Billy Kennedy. Junta took over and Swerve Boy banned the book because it had a violent, sometimes shed-like, theme. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/16/fuggers_and_apple_crumble~1753439/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>juntaapple-crumblefuggershermandadkennedymalcom-was-herepuffinslondon-monarchshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/16/fuggers_and_apple_crumble~1753439/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/15/i_m_addicted_to_watching_willy_wonka_and~1748709/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-15:/2007/02/15/i_m_addicted_to_watching_willy_wonka_and~1748709/Thu, 15 Feb 2007 23:35:21 +0100 <p>Tape it onto a ‘talk boy’, you know? Off home alone 2. Then take it everywhere with you. Or…. Buy a TV in the shape of your head and wear it like a helmet. Hook a portable DVD up to it and you can go everywhere surrounded by the delights of Willa Wonka and chums. Remember to cut two holes for your eyes, otherwise you’ll bash into things and get lost.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/15/i_m_addicted_to_watching_willy_wonka_and~1748709/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>mind-the-gap-charleshumperdink-will-sufficesinging-bingy-bingywilly-wonkaheroic-tableclothtalk-boyhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/15/i_m_addicted_to_watching_willy_wonka_and~1748709/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/15/junta_of_the_santa_hermandad~1748602/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-15:/2007/02/15/junta_of_the_santa_hermandad~1748602/Thu, 15 Feb 2007 23:17:19 +0100 <p>1.</p> <p>To increase military potential Ferdinand and Isabella revived and extended the system of mounted militia provided by Hermandad (the association of Castillian towns). This dated from 1190 when four towns agreed to patrol towns for Father Herman, who said that they must. And so it was done. However Junta of the Santa became mad, and was forced to stay in a kennel with his dog Bill. This Rice Krispy people said it was a shame, so Junta was released. Because of the political system Junta was unable to touch the Hermandad and so he fled to Madrid where a sock full of pencils and crayons was waiting. Junta and Santa wrote a message and Frank and Paul were sent to England to give Charles the letter. In England there was an election and the Shoe People won it so Mr Kenneth Clarky shot himself in front of everybody. Blue box went crazy and made a nice comfortable chair for Joey Boiler to sit in.</p> <p>Junta was enraged and sat on a sea lion. “So what”, said Santa, “I’m an egg pot”. “You silly cuss”, said Junta. Herman Father came back and the others hid. Herman Father married the special pen brother and the others went away to Disney World.</p> <p>Herman Father ruled forever, except Junta was a nutter who ate all the apples and pears. Shammit is a beauty, so do not down it in one silly Herman Father. Shammit Isalata foot stabbing bully, hurt the egg mater Junta. Read the dictionary you daft ignoramus moose chocolate twins.</p> <p>2.</p> <p>The governors close the door and laugh at the seeds they have planted in the floorboards. One of them grows into a little Litten Tree called Joey Boiler. The governors, good people, climbed it and walked along a branch to the education service where they chastised the apples and then ate them, yum, what good nourishment, and with the extra energy the governors grew into gigantic canoes. The nationalistic brushes jumped up and went to England where King Charles VIII was ruling. An election was held and Joey Boiler won. He made a serious allegation against the acorn shoes and was made into a sitting room chair for Junta Santa to sit in. When 1500 came a millennium party was held and everyone went and stayed the night at Nicky Buttoults house. </p> <p>In the morning when Joey awoke he ordered everyone to go and play on the swings whilst he tidied up and made breakfast for the children. The children ate breakfast and they fell ill because it was too ‘slow’ and made them go all silly. They were kept away from school and one of the children sat on the sitting room chair and broke it. </p> <p>Joey turned back into a king and began to run the country normally again. English nobles were forced to eat purple pot cake and decided to invade Ireland. Now England could be considered a real world power and run as an efficient economy trading in socks and clay bricks. The Belgium’s were outraged and built a Tierack shops to put into the train stations. The governors returned and prevented trade sanctions between Belgium and England. “I know where you live”, said the doctor to the Belgium’s. The Belgium’s fled and the English flew to Brussels and made stew to sell to the Germans.</p> <p>3.</p> <p>In 1190, in order to increase military potential, Ferdinand Lucus decided to extend his system of mounted militia, which Hermandad had generously provided him with. Four towns, chosen at random to ensure fairness by Junta, agreed to patrol the acorn tree for Hermandad, who said that they must.</p> <p>When Santa heard this news he became angry that the acorn tree should be treated so well, and so The Santa went and punched Hermandad in the foot. Hermandad ordered Junta to escort the Santa to Madrid. </p> <p>In Madrid Junta overpowered the Santa, and so it was that Junta became Junta of the Santa. Junta was sent to order the elections in Aragon, and set up his own political party which won the election. The Junta of the Santa party ate all the Spanish apples and pears annoy the Ferdinand Lucus.</p> <p>Ferdinand Lucus was faced with a huge dilemma, what was he to eat now all the food had gone? Tables and chairs were processed into rather woody sandwiches which he had to eat. Junta of the Santa ordered the Aragon people to build a rocket, and so they did because Junta said they must.</p> <p>When it was finished the Holy people said it was a shame, but Frank was ordered to fly the rocket to the moon to collect some cheese for Santa. While he was on the moon Frank dropped a bomb on the Ferdinand Lucus, and so the Junta of the Santa ruled Castilla too.</p> <p>Hermandad saw the Junta and attacked him but Junta’s dog, Tony, protected him and bit off Hermandad’s head. Now all was well and so the Charles’s made some trouble on purpose. Charles made Finny hit Junta with a concord, and as Finny was a nasty little idiot he did. Charles and Charles mad ea television and watched Eastenders. The nobles destroyed it and started a civil war.</p> <p>Santa became annoyed with Charles and made him eat acorns. Santa took over England and put all the nobles in France where they were put in small shoe boxes and sold to the peasants.</p> <p>Now Santa ruled England as well he was able to start his space project. Frank was sent to the Milky Way where he told everybody the answer to the universe on a walky talky.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/15/junta_of_the_santa_hermandad~1748602/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>shammitfinnyferdinandnasty-idiothermandadjuntahttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/15/junta_of_the_santa_hermandad~1748602/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/12/snob~1726836/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-12:/2007/02/12/snob~1726836/Mon, 12 Feb 2007 14:12:02 +0100 <p>A peanut chubsey is someone who has made themselves very fat by eating peanuts morning, noon and night. They love them.</p> <p>This is one of them:<br> <a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=1165368" title="180px-D%C3%B6bel_Hochrhein10"><img src="http://data2.blog.de/media/368/1165368_352802a7f1_m.jpg" alt="180px-D%C3%B6bel_Hochrhein10" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/12/snob~1726836/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>peanutshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/12/snob~1726836/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/11/motions_of_energy~1721087/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-11:/2007/02/11/motions_of_energy~1721087/Sun, 11 Feb 2007 15:26:55 +0100 <p>Singing Bingy Bingy. Probiotic probationary period, I am on a probationary period. I did a trial week for the company. They asked me back to start, but still with a probiotic probationary period. Is this going to cause a problem? Only if you are a frog made of cryo slush. I have leaned to type, but there are some loop holes? Shall I ask if that’s ok? Obviously I can’t ask my employer. Wave at the packet of cash walking out of the door, won’t you my dear? Is this standard? Yes I think so.</p> <p>Also note my frog has been in full term employment knitting cardigans made of berry stalks and stigma from bright red cherries. I can’t ask my employer anymore than this. It has been the same company. See what she says to that! The fool, it’s easy. Yeah, see what she says to that. Tell you what, she’s still writing her message. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/11/motions_of_energy~1721087/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>cryo-slushstalksstigmasingy-bingy-bingyfroghttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/11/motions_of_energy~1721087/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/custard_jam_seeds~1718211/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-10:/2007/02/10/custard_jam_seeds~1718211/Sat, 10 Feb 2007 23:34:05 +0100 <p>Banana, strawberry & cake. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/custard_jam_seeds~1718211/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>seedscustardstraw-hatjamhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/custard_jam_seeds~1718211/#commentshttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/peanut_barrel_smith~1713128/tag:thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk,2007-02-09:/2007/02/10/peanut_barrel_smith~1713128/Sat, 10 Feb 2007 00:42:35 +0100 <p>The mill of flour was full of peanut sauce, the workers, Carol and Sampson had decided enough was enough. The dolphin sized nuts were causing a stink, but a nice one. The people in the town were so proud they took up their sticks and declared the mill a no go area.</p> <p>Meanwhile in the pond next door the frogs plotted to take over the barn in one of the fields. Unfortunately their over night operation was not a success and the place is still over run by a hefty lad named Runcorn of the Bailey. It's a shame really, I liked those frogs.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/peanut_barrel_smith~1713128/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>frogscarolruncornheroic-tableclothsampsonhttp://thermosecmoica.blog.co.uk/2007/02/10/peanut_barrel_smith~1713128/#comments